


A Little Too Late

by Deans__impala



Category: Castiel - Fandom, Dean Winchester - Fandom, Luci - Fandom, Lucifer - Fandom, Sam Winchester - Fandom, Sam Winchester/Lucifer - Fandom, Samifer - Fandom, Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Dean Winchester - Freeform, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Implied Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Lucifer - Freeform, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Sam Winchester/Lucifer - Freeform, Samifer - Freeform, castiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 14:08:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7271392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deans__impala/pseuds/Deans__impala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam finally gets rid of his hallucinations but was it for the better or will it take an unforgettable toll on Sam's heart. Will he be able to live through the pain and loneliness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Too Late

Well Cas did it, he stopped my hallucinations of Lucifer. Although I feel like I'm missing something, like a part of myself is gone. Castiel laid on the hospital bed so still he could be dead, Dean grabbed my arm and pulled me into the impala. I could see the pain in his eyes, I know he didn't want to leave Cas with only Meg to take care of him. We drove a few miles away from the hospital when I realized what I was missing, my sarcastic shadow. My Luci was gone and I won't ever see him again. I had to hold back tears as we drove down the highway. "Dean turn around I need to go back!" I yelled even though I hadn't meant to, my emotions are all over the place. If only I could get back to the hospital, maybe I can wake Cas up and make him give me Lucifer back. It was in that moment I realized I was in love with that sarcastic fallen angel, so in love that I was willing to let his insanity fill my brain, so in love that I was inviting it in. "Listen, Sammy I know you're worried about Cas but he will pull through it isn't your fault that he is like this he volunteered." Dean said calmly but I knew he was worried about Castiel whether he wanted to admit it or not. Maybe he was right, maybe its just the insanity talking to me saying that I'm in love with Lucifer I mean, come on, after all I went through to get him into hell I can't be in love with him. All I know for sure is that no one can know that I think I love the devil... THREE DAYS LATER... I laid in bed and heard deans boots slam against the floor over and over "Dean please don't pace". He looked at me "And he speaks. Why have you been so out of it lately?" He looked at me expecting an answer. "Dean what do you want me to say I've just been a bit sad lately" and with that dean stormed off. For the past few days the littlest things set him off and I can't take it anymore, I pack my stuff and leave... 2 MONTHS LATER... I looked into the vampire's eyes as I took my machete and cut off his head, I needed to get back to the hotel. It wasn't the best place I've ever stayed its dusty, the floor is sticky, and it smells like an old person died there but it's better than nothing. I needed to relax when I saw the impala I freaked out and ran and that delayed my hunt. Oh well, it's over and done with now. I missed my brother, maybe it's time to go pay him a visit. I woke up with a neck ache I guess I slept on it wrong. The impala was parked outside a motel down the street and the guy at the counter was eager to give me my brother's room for a few bucks. When I walked up to the door my palms started to sweat and my hands started to shake I don't think I've ever I been so nervous in my life. I knocked on the door to the room and heard shuffling inside. The door opened and I saw my brother he looked at me like that one Christmas when I gave him his pendant. "Sammy nice of you to finally join us" Dean said, surprised as a trench coated man came to stand next to him. "Hey Dean, hey Cas. Wait Cas when did you leave the hospital?" Cas looked at me "Well, after Lucifer stopped appearing to me, I was able to concentrate and so I left to find you and Dean but you weren't there." he said in the uninterested way only Castiel can. No Lucifer can't be gone, I started to sob loudly holding onto Dean for support. "Sam, what's wrong?" Dean said concerned. "You don't get it h-he wa-was my angel. Why do you get to keep your angel, but I can't have mine!!! Why can't I have happiness." I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror at the broken man I'd become I pulled a razor out of the cabinet along with a bottle of pills,and looked at my wrists. I began slashing away at my wrist, not caring about the pain it would all be over soon. "Sam I'm sorry, we're sorry, please open the door" I hear as I down the bottle of pills, and I chase them with water from the tap. As I'm fading in and out of consciousness I hear Dean say "I can't lose you Sammy I love you." while he's sobbing shoving his fingers down my throat, I grab his hand look him in the eyes and say " Dean I love you, but I can't live without him".

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. This is the first story I've written and I hoped everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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